PARADOXAL LOVE

Oh, confusion
Child of illusion
I realize I’ve fooled myself again
Dancing to close to the flame
Pretending, convincing myself
And my companion
I was in charge and independent
In a voluntary, equal game

Don’t want to cling to no-one
Want nobody to cling to me
Live and let live and let beauty flow freely
Free is what love should be

Still now, when that beautiful butterfly’s gone
With a southgoing wind
To busy with the next refrain
To answer my visionary letter

I find myself trapped in melancholy
Instead of carrying on the melody
That we chanted enchanted together

I can not blame him
He just played his part
In what we had mutely agreed upon
I knew from the start, when the song faded out
He would be gone

He opened his heart, his mind, his eyes
So I could see
I didn’t loose myself in their absorbing vastness
No, quite the contrary
In their depth and in their tearpolished surface
What I encountered was a truer me

He was a mirror for my love, my strength and honesty
And he honoured it unconditionally

With playful ease I did the same
With ease I played the holy game
With ease and grace we both progressed
Challenging ourselves and the other

Inspiration was the only motivation
And we accomplished very well
Both knowing time was running short
We filled out every moment with our spell
And when the parting hour came
The mutual wish: A vast fare well

It was easy to share
It was easy to part
But now after a time
There is an ache in my heart
That I’ve postponed listening to
Stifling its’ voice
With all the things I think I have to do

Now most of the tasks on my list were accomplished
And I had a double invitation tonight
Both cases gatherings of beautiful people
Celebrating winter solstice, the return of the light
I found myself unable to choose between the two
And realized it was just another excuse
For not admitting avoiding the others
Now that I can’t be with you

Before sun can return I need to feel lonely
And to acknowledge the colour blue